Finding the God of compassion

The Doctor's Life Support for 13 January

Has his unfailing love vanished for ever?

Psalm 77: 8

Little Precious is dead, after a short and less than sweet life. What was God thinking of? I had previously believed in a God of love, but the death of this little baby, and the resultant questions about God’s justice and mercy, threw my life into a downward spin. How could a good God allow such suffering? Starting work on the wards and meeting people facing different crises made matters worse. Gradually, I seemed to be further from God and closer to not believing in him at all. My faith was dying and I was miserable. A quieter stage in my studies gave time to reconsider the basic evidence for Christian faith, despite still being angry with God and struggling to believe in his goodness. Yet he lovingly provided friends to stand by me, including one who came regularly to listen and pray, giving me hope that I would regain confidence in him and his word. There are no easy answers to suffering, but it helped to recall that it first came into the world through human choices. (Genesis 3) Much of it still does. Then, though he still felt distant, looking again at the cross made it hard to accuse God of being unloving. Head knowledge had not reached my heart. The time came to let go of anger and disappointment and trust him as much as I could. Then God met me, reminding me that, as heavenly father of little Precious, he knew best. If I loved her, how much more did he. His love never fails. Prayer: Dear God, please help me to let go of the things that keep me from you and give me the faith to see your goodness in the midst of the darkness. Amen.

Written by Sophia Lamb Rep. from Ireland

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